The truth about Claire...

I feel like I should talk or write about it because writing has been my friend for so long, a good friend. It helped me cope with so many things and I think it will help me one more time and bury this drama. When I want to move on from something I write about it then I close the page...


I am a really hopeful and caring person and even though I have seen so many things in my life that could have changed me, I never changed...maybe life made a bit bitter. And I think people who meet me now don't enjoy the joy of meeting the real me. I wish you could meet me years ago, I was naive and a better person but I guess maturity comes with a price.

But this not about me, it's about Claire. I remember when I was younger I couldn't understand why you didn't live with us...I didn't understand it at all. When I started understanding things I learned that you had another family which was ok for me because I had two families, your family was my family, your mother always treated me kind, your aunts, cousins became my cousins...But I still wanted to make up for you since you didn't live with us. It made me sad that you couldn't enjoy our dad 24 hours because he means the world to me and I couldn't image not living with him. It would kill me! So I always tried to make up for you, I always did everything you wanted me to do because I wanted you to be as happy as I was having my family together...

I am really aware of the crazy things around the world and how crazy life can make you...I always come up with theories for everything, some are feasible, others are just insane. I think girls raised by a single mom are evil! PERIOD! Let me explain my theory...it doesn't apply to everyone and please don't be offended! But I have seen several cases that back up my theory. Girls who are raised by single moms grow up listening to them complaining about being lonely, the fact that their father left them, having to pay all the bills and bla bla...so they get attached to their pain and it becomes their own pain. They don't believe in man and they are really jealous and resentful people. And the last but not least, and a very common fact is: they hate their stepmom!...for no reason...If you are not cinderella you don't have a good reason to be angry at your stepmom! LOL

Back to Claire's story...So I always felt the need to do everything you wanted me to do...and for me, it was ok because I was younger and you were my biggest idol...I look up to you so much for being strong, opinionated and smart...but as I got older I started to see the real you.

I was always happy when you came around to spend the weekend with us but I started to notice that the mood in our house changed instantly. I could see that your presence disturbed our happiness, yes it did! We really loved you but it was difficult to keep up with your sour personality. I could see that my mother tried...she really tried for you to accept her... but your "single mom's daughter syndrome" didn't help her. You made her life miserable but she didn't give up, she cared for you and she did everything possible to make up for you for not having our dad 24 hours...Sometimes I think she took to the extreme, buying you things, giving you expensive things which fed your ego and your bad habits (we will not go further in this matter lol).

She tried to buy your love and I think that's the only thing she did wrong, THE ONLY! Cuz to be honest my mom is literally perfect...she has the biggest heart in the planet! I can see that now but when I was younger I couldn't, thanks to you! You were very manipulative, controlling and you knew you could use me. And we all allowed you to be that person because we felt like we owned you something. We thought we owed you a family...

But today I came to my senses, I don't own you anything and you need to stop! Stop throwing me under the bus and paint me as a serial killer. We pretended we didn't see the person you were becoming and we always protected you and covered up your mess. But this time you took things too far, playing the victim card.

Even though you made me feel so miserable so many times I always cared for you and I wanted to protect you... And that's what I did. But you always denied my love because it wasn't enough for you because of the fact that my birth stole your "perfect family" (never existed!). You aways questioned my intentions even when I had the best interest at heart. I don't want to expose you like you did to me but I need to move on from this.
You did so many things and I pretended I didn't see them because it was better to tell my heart that my sister loved me. Even when I tried to save you I received torture in exchange for my love.

I knew this was going to happen and it happened...sometimes when you predict bad things, you become a bad person but I really prayed that my worries were wrong. I was only protecting you and I was worried about you...and I still went out of my way to help you but I failed. But I give up because that's not my duty, I am not the older sister here!
When you started this chaos I ignored it because I thought you knew me better than that and you were aware of my warmth. You wanted to dodge the bullet and blame it on me...And I accepted it because that's what family do. And I am used to being the bad one...I didn't care in the beginning because I think people believe what is convenient for them. They see the truth they want to see...And I know real people know real people so the people who believed in this psycho story that you created were not worth my time.

Even though we will never have a relationship ever because I will make sure it won't happen I am happy that you experienced birth and I hope it makes you more human...I wish you well...


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