You made it!

My phone battery just died, so I charged it...but I still can't fully understand why I can't bring you back to life. As time passes everything is back to normal and I am starting to feel completely fine and forgetting you day by day. I always try to mention you in conversations, with the hope that you are listening to me fighting to not forget you. But the truth is, it doesn't hurt anymore...I don't cry at all and I feel bad for recovering so quickly...But I had to...I couldn't afford to be broken again, to go back to my worst times, to feel miserable emotionally like I used to.

The car is fixed, I got my job back (not really! lol) and 2017 is treating me well. So how is heaven treating you? I hope you are resting peacefully...Even though I heard things that if you were alive would make me avoid you in every possible way, I don't care, I still wish you were the meanest person alive rather than dead.

 I have to bury this story and continue to find inspiration in other love stories. I have been to every kind of relationship, I have dated players, "mama's boy's", gold diggers, committed people (I am sorry but I am not ashamed), people who turned out to be gay, people who can't commit, drug addicts, evil people and all sorts of people and even animals... I was missing the "dead guy", I needed to experience it so I could become more dramatic, insane and lost. I can't say that you have given me inspiration, not really...since I lost you, I stopped writing, I just don't feel like doing it.

I was finally managing to finish a year without being depressed but I guess God wanted to test my will and he did. Meeting you allowed me to see myself clear and I have to thank you. You introduced me to myself. I always wanted approval from people who looked down on me, you know? Your death made me realize that I should stop putting myself down because I have made it in some kinda way...In only two weeks you saw me as the most successful woman on the planet! Today I acknowledge that my goals will never stop coming and I will never be satisfied. There's more to life than being successful. At your funeral I saw so many people, I couldn't believe how loved you were...Seeing all the pain you caused to your family, friends, colleagues...At that moment it hit me...YOU MADE IT!





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